I never thought that my own family could become the biggest source of stress in my life. Growing up in a small Dutch town, I always believed that family was the place where you could find peace. Familie hoort een veilige plek te zijn — family is supposed to be a safe place. But lately, I am not so sure anymore.
My parents have been arguing about almost everything. My father thinks he has worked his whole life and deserves more respect, while my mother feels that nobody really listens to her anymore. Every dinner turns into a discussion, and every discussion somehow becomes a fight. Het houdt maar niet op — it just never seems to stop.
My younger brother also makes things more complicated. He moved back home after losing his job, and honestly, I understand that he needs support. But sometimes I feel like he takes everyone’s kindness for granted. When I try to talk to him, he says I am acting like our parents. Doe normaal, he always says, as if my concerns are completely unreasonable.
The worst part is that I feel guilty for being frustrated. They are my family, and I love them. Je kiest je familie niet — you don’t choose your family. But does loving someone mean you have to accept every argument, every disappointment, and every painful moment?
I often walk along the canals in the evening, just trying to clear my head. The quiet water and the old houses remind me that life does not have to be perfect. Maybe families are always a little chaotic. Maybe we all carry our own frustrations and fears.
Still, I hope one day we can sit together and talk without blaming each other. Gewoon luisteren, zonder oordeel — simply listen, without judgment. Perhaps that is all we need: less pride, less anger, and a little more understanding.
Until then, I will keep trying to be patient. After all, familie blijft familie — family remains family.